Is the Kitchen Means of Care?

Yesterday, I went to a friend's house for a puja. Since I was going there straight after work and it was going to be late, I told my father I would be having dinner there. He said okay and told me to come home safely.

At my friend's place, I was chatting with his parents when his father suddenly said 'Since you already decided on your dinner, you don't care about your father, huh?' It caught me off guard. Even if he meant it as a light remark, it hit me deeply. My friend's mother just let out an awkward laugh and said nothing.

That moment stayed in my mind for a long time. Would he have said the same thing if I were a son? Would the same sense of responsibility to the home and the kitchen be expected? The irony was; the father who made that comment did not seem to even lift a finger in the kitchen.

Why does the duty of the kitchen still falls on women? I have seen so many of my friends rush home after work because their mother is not around and they have to cook for their father. I have seen fathers never even taking their plate to the sink after eating. I have seen them chatting with the guests while the women have to be trapped in the kitchen.

Personally, I am grateful that I don't have to face that kind of patriarchy. At home, my father and I share kitchen duties; whoever's free cooks. It is that simple and fair.

This all makes me wonder how strange it is that so many people still don't see kitchen work as a basic life skill rather than it being a women's job.