My Stories

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a petite girl. Growing up, I never quite looked my age. I was incredibly thin, a trait that made me an easy target for childhood teasing. When I graduated from school at just 14 years old, my physical appearance certainly didn't match my academic milestones. Fed up, I made a fierce determination during the three-month break: I was going to gain weight. Spoiler alert: It didn’t happen. Moving into high school, I quickly reclaimed my status as the smallest one in the classroom. Back then, it was manageable. It was just a quirk of growing up. But when I transitioned into university for my Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees, the real challenges began. People constantly assumed I was a fresh high school graduate. I could feel the lack of immediate professional respect. Yet, even that didn’t quite prepare me for what would happen once I entered the corporate world. After finishing my studies, I landed my first official job. Inside the office walls, t...

So, yesterday I was at this youth program. There were about 15 people, all from different background with their own ideas about things. At one point, they were asked "What kind of person are you known for?" Everyone had interesting answers but two girls' answer made me think and write this blog. One of them said her parents call her 'the son of the family'. When asked what she meant, she said it's because she's not emotional like other women and does things that guys usually do. Then another girl spoke and she said that she is a proud daughter of her family. She was so confident saying that anything a son can do, she can do too. I totally felt that. Later, I told her I felt the same way and it turns out she also has a sister, just like me and they both believe they can achieve anything. Whenever I talk about stuff like this, some people get worked up saying women do not have the physical strength of men. And I completely agree on this, i never think we are...

There is a specific kind of peace that comes with building the life exactly where you are born. I love my life here in Nepal. I have the kind of freedom people travel oceans to find, a support system and a decent career that allows me to enjoy my life. For the longest time, abroad has always been a destination for travel and not a place for settling for me. But lately, this peace has somehow been interrupted. The feeling came back stronger when I heard one of my closest friends leaving. Then another one is also planning on it. Then suddenly, FOMO takes on a different shape. Not because I feel like I am missing out on a life abroad but missing out on the future of my social circle. I tell myself that I will make new friends but can I find someone as close as them? The exhaustion of starting from the bottom sounds very uncomfortable. I often hear about the freedom of living abroad. And sure, there may be liberation living by yourself but I feel like I already have that here. But my heart...

Yesterday, I went to a friend's house for a puja. Since I was going there straight after work and it was going to be late, I told my father I would be having dinner there. He said okay and told me to come home safely. At my friend's place, I was chatting with his parents when his father suddenly said 'Since you already decided on your dinner, you don't care about your father, huh?' It caught me off guard. Even if he meant it as a light remark, it hit me deeply. My friend's mother just let out an awkward laugh and said nothing. That moment stayed in my mind for a long time. Would he have said the same thing if I were a son? Would the same sense of responsibility to the home and the kitchen be expected? The irony was; the father who made that comment did not seem to even lift a finger in the kitchen. Why does the duty of the kitchen still falls on women? I have seen so many of my friends rush home after work because their mother is not around and they have to cook...

I lost my mother when I was 17. It happened so suddenly that none of us had time to process it. She was diagnosed with cancer but the doctors detected it too late. They said we had a very little time left to prepare ourselves for a life without her. But how do you ever get prepared for that? Even now at 25, 7 years later it still feels unreal. Sometimes, I feel that it is all a bad dream and she is with us still.  The first few months after her passing were a blur. My father, sister and me could not talk to each other. The house felt heavier, quieter and emptier. As months passed, the silence turned to chaos; arguments and frustration. None of us knew how to operate the family. A year went by but we could not still speak about our pain. We were living together but grieving alone in our own way. Slowly, we began to adjust. We started talking again, sharing little memories of her that made us smile. But the pain never really left. Festivals remain especially hard. Seeing others toget...

We have all grown up hearing the old phrase 'opposites attract'. Movies and fictional novels glorify the idea of a nonchalant boy paired with a bubbly extroverted girl, two people from completely different worlds who somehow balance each other perfectly. It does sound exciting right? But the real question is does it actually work in real life or is it just some feel good fantasy that have been fed upon us? Well I feel like in the beginning, being with someone who is completely different can feel like going into a whole new world. You learn things that you were unaware of, understand the perspective from the other side. For the first few years it might be fun because there is always something to discover. Their quirks are considered charming and the contrasting personalities might feel like the puzzle pieces fitting together. This is a honeymoon phase of every relationship and it feels like everything will be great for the rest of your lives. But then the reality kicks in and ov...