The Bittersweet Choice

There is a specific kind of peace that comes with building the life exactly where you are born. I love my life here in Nepal. I have the kind of freedom people travel oceans to find, a support system and a decent career that allows me to enjoy my life. For the longest time, abroad has always been a destination for travel and not a place for settling for me.

But lately, this peace has somehow been interrupted. The feeling came back stronger when I heard one of my closest friends leaving. Then another one is also planning on it. Then suddenly, FOMO takes on a different shape. Not because I feel like I am missing out on a life abroad but missing out on the future of my social circle. I tell myself that I will make new friends but can I find someone as close as them? The exhaustion of starting from the bottom sounds very uncomfortable.

I often hear about the freedom of living abroad. And sure, there may be liberation living by yourself but I feel like I already have that here. But my heart breaks to live in a country that feels like it's constantly pushing best people away.

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